I wish I were joking: There now exists a bra that not only claims to know when you’re in love, but won’t unhook until you are.
Japanese lingerie company Ravijour appears to be a little, er, unhinged with the True Love Tester bra: it will only unhook when the wearer’s heart rate reaches a certain level, sending a signal to a nearby smart phone that it’s safe to unleash the girls.
The YouTube video for the product, a.k.a. the world’s worst idea has 1.6 million views, features three kinds of men that the bra is designed to fend off: the animal, the technician, the flash guy.
“It’s time to save women from these guys,” a woman’s voice says. “A revolutionary bra that knows how women truly feel.”
As if those statements weren’t enough to unleash all the Internet’s furor, a man identified as a doctor then describes the science behind the “revolutionary” undergarment, in scientific terms clearly meant to sound authoritative but means absolutely nothing:
“When excited, the adrenal medulla secretes catecholamine, which affects the autonomic nerve.”
Wowee, doc: Thanks for speaking in terms us women can’t understand.
Shockingly, some women on the comment forum seem to like the idea: It’s tragically romantic on some level, writes Heather M.
Commenter ChoraChannel perhaps sees to much meaning in this silly little bra: “Thankfully, in the future world there will be no opinion and there will be no decisions only robots nodding yes or no. It’s truly sad where humanity is headed and I will do my best to prevent it.”
Unfortunately, it’s not the first bra that has claimed to do more than, you know, hold and support breasts. I’m truly sorry to remind you of the self-tweeting bra, and the bra that told women when to stop eating.
But none of these unfortunate ideas can hold a candle to the epically awful True Love Tester. The image of the unleashed boobs, released from their shackles, is not an image I will soon forget.
But among all the questions – Wouldn’t your heart beat very quickly if you were being accosted? Are single and/or lonely girls stuck in this bra until the end of time? – remains the biggest question of all: On what planet does a product that insinuates a woman can’t make her own decision about when to unhook her bra, ever get approved?